Bob Rivers:What If God Smoked Cannabis

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This song is performed by Bob Rivers and appears on the album Vol. 2-Best Of Twisted Tunes (1997).

This song is a parody of What If God Was One Of Us? by Joan Osborne.

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If God had long hair, and a goatee.
And if his eyes were pretty glazed.
If he looked spaced out.
Would you buy his story?
Would you believe he had an eye infection?

And yeah, yeah, God looks baked.
Yeah, yeah, God smells good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
What if God smoked cannabis?
Hit the bong like some of us?
Drove a tye-dyed micro-bus?
And he subscribes to Rolling Stone?

When God made this place, in the beginning.
Did he plant any seeds?
Or did he put them there for Adam and Eve,
So they'd be hungry for the apple that the snake was always offering?

And yeah, yeah, God rolls great.
Yeah, yeah, God smells good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What if God smoked cannabis
Do you 'spose He had a buzz,
When He made the platypus
When He created Earth our homes
Does He like Pearl Jam or The Stones?
And do you think He rolls His own?
Up there in heaven on the throne
And when the saints go marching home,
Maybe He sits and smokes a bone....

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